At COPE, we’re here for you from the very beginning. Access trusted guidance, expert information, and compassionate support as you navigate the journey of trying to conceive.
Coping with loss is deeply personal and painful — COPE offers gentle support, guidance, and understanding to help you navigate this difficult time.
Navigate your pregnancy with confidence using COPE’s expert advice, emotional support, and reliable information tailored for every step of the journey.
Providing you with evidence based information to help prepare and nurture yourself before, during and following birth
Early parenthood can be joyful, challenging and everything in between. COPE provides you with expert guidance and real insights to help you feel seen and supported every step of the way.
Whether you're a partner, friend, or family member, COPE provides guidance and support to help you care for your loved one and yourself through every stage of parenthood.
COPE provides guidance and resources to help workplaces support the emotional wellbeing of expecting and new parents with care and understanding.
COPE offers tools, training, and resources to support health professionals in providing compassionate, evidence-based care to expecting and new parents.
If you're going through a tough time, you're not alone. The COPE Directory is a supportive first step toward finding the right help, close to home and tailored to your needs
At COPE, we believe every parent deserves access to compassionate support and reliable information. Our mission is to raise awareness, reduce stigma, and empower families facing perinatal mental health challenges.
Your support can make a lasting impact. By donating to COPE, you help to provide vital support, resources, and research for families facing perinatal mental health challenges. Together, we can make sure no parent is alone.
Understand when to seek help, how to take the first step of talking to someone, types of support available, plus how to find specialised perinatal mental health support near you.
Intrusive thoughts, otherwise known as “scary thoughts”, are unwanted negative thoughts and mental images.
Intrusive thoughts, otherwise known as “scary thoughts”, are unwanted negative thoughts (“What if I burn the baby in the bath?”) and images (for example, picturing the baby falling off the bed).
They can pop into our head, interrupting other thoughts or activities and are anxiety driven. They’re hard to dismiss and often come back again and again.
Intrusive thoughts are more common when we’re stressed – and can lead to great shame. This is because they’re often so different to how we might actually think or feel.
It’s important to know that experiencing intrusive thoughts after having a baby is common. Sometimes it’s a sign of depression, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Research has shown that in the postnatal period, thoughts are often related to harm coming to your baby. Sometimes they may be around something bad accidentally happening to your baby, but they can also be thoughts of hurting your baby on purpose – even if you find this highly distressing.
Jessica Rowe COPE AmbassadorMy eyes would be drawn to the sharp carving knife in the second drawer in the kitchen. I wondered if such a knife could pierce my little daughter’s soft skin.
Most mothers report thoughts of accidentally harming their baby – for example dropping them while walking down stairs. Around 50 per cent of mothers report unwanted, intrusive thoughts of harming their baby on purpose.
Some of the thoughts or images might be:
While less research has been conducted in this area, we do know that dads are less likely to experience these thoughts, find them less upsetting, but can also find them more difficult to talk about.
If your thoughts are unwanted, distressing, or repetitive and interfere with functioning you may be experiencing perinatal OCD. Some parents may find that previous OCD symptoms worsen during pregnancy or after having a baby while others may experience it for the first time.
A recent study estimated that eight per cent of postpartum women report symptoms that meet criteria for a diagnosis of OCD at some point during pregnancy, which increased to 17 per cent in the 38 weeks after delivery.
There are three main parts to OCD
Obsessions and compulsions are often (but not always) focused on the baby – for example worrying about not sterilising your baby’s bottle or checking your baby through the night to make sure they’re still breathing.
Perinatal OCD may also stop you from enjoying your pregnancy and/or being a mother so it’s important to seek help from your GP if you’re distressed.
Perinatal OCD is a very treatable condition. Treatment may include Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and in some cases medication.
While there is no evidence to suggest that parents act on their unwanted thoughts, images or impulses, the experience can be extremely upsetting. In addition, the shame and stigma around having these types of thoughts can prevent people from speaking about them and seeking help.
For many new parents, the thoughts go away over time. Others, however, may find they need further support.
Your GP, or mental health professional will also be able to assess you for anxiety, depression or perinatal OCD and refer you to specialised support if you need it.
Good mothers do think bad thoughts and you are not alone.
Lara HyamsI realised negative thoughts did not mean negative actions and I didn’t have to be triggered by my own mind.
"I will never forget my experience of having a baby. All those 'positive' moments I was supposed to experience, never came."
Types of postnatal mental health conditions, their signs or indicators, plus what to do if you feel you may be experiencing symptoms.
Living with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Having a baby makes things more difficult - that's why it's important to get help.
Bipolar disorder is a serious mental health condition. Those with a history may have a relapse of bipolar disorder in the postnatal period.
If you have ongoing thoughts and feelings of worry and tension that are hard to live with, then you may be experiencing postnatal anxiety.
Postnatal depression is a common but debilitating condition that affects one in seven women following the birth of their baby.
Postpartum psychosis, also referred to as postnatal psychosis or puerperal psychosis, is a rare condition affecting 1-2 in every 1000 mums.
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following birth can develop if you have personally experienced or witnessed a traumatic birth event.
Signs and symptoms, treatment, management, and additional support for schizophrenia in the postnatal period.
COPE is committed to providing high-quality perinatal mental health information and has developed a series of postnatal mental health fact sheets for women and their families.
Click the Exit Site button or press "Esc" on your keyboard to exit this site quickly. Click here to learn how to keep your identity safe online.