Living with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Having a baby makes things more difficult - that's why it's important to get help.
Borderline Personality Disorder in the Perinatal Period Factsheet
A guide for women and their families
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What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects the way a person thinks, feels and behaves. It can negatively impact how they feel about themselves, their relationships with others, their ability to manage their emotions, and cause impulsive or reckless behaviour.
Around 3 in 100 Australian women aged 25 or more experience borderline personality disorder.
Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be challenging. Having a baby makes things a bit more difficult. That’s why it is important to get help.
What causes borderline personality disorder?
Problems in childhood may cause borderline personality disorder. This includes sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect.
Parenting with borderline personality disorder
A mother with borderline personality disorder may struggle with her relationship with her baby. She may not feel the way she thinks that she should feel about the baby. She may also find caring for the baby difficult. It can be very hard to cope when the baby is crying or distressed when you have trouble managing your own distress.
Having a mother with borderline personality disorder affects infants in different ways. If the mother’s behaviour is ‘frightening’ for the infant or she has trouble responding to the infant’s emotional needs, it is more likely that the infant will develop problems with emotions and relationships. Having other people take care of the baby sometimes can reduce these effects on the baby.
| Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder |
|---|
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Unstable and extreme emotions (sadness, irritability, anxiety) |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Efforts to avoid being abandoned |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder A history of intense and unstable relationships with people |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Not having a clear sense of who you are as a person or how you feel about yourself |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Impulsiveness (e.g. spending lots of money, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Talking about or engaging in self-harm and/or suicidal behaviours |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Ongoing feelings of emptiness |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Feelings of anger that may be intense, inappropriate or difficult to control |
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder Being paranoid or feeling disconnected from the world when under stress |
How is borderline personality disorder identified?
Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. If you have five or more of the symptoms listed above, you may have borderline personality disorder.
Download the BPD fact sheet
Getting support for borderline personality disorder during pregnancy and after having a baby
Support services
- A family support service may be able to visit you and your infant in your home
- An individual therapist can support you and help you manage your feelings
- Therapy for you and your infant helps to build on your relationship
- Having someone else care for the baby (family or childcare) gives you a break to look after yourself
Managing emotions
Finding and practising a way to calm yourself is almost always valuable. Useful skills are mindfulness or meditation. Mindfulness is a technique used to help you stay focused in the present moment and to respond to the world (and your child). Learning this technique may be helpful for you if you tend to find that you are often ‘stuck in your own head’ (going over and over worries or negative thoughts) or tend to ‘react’ emotionally when you are in stressful situations.
Medication
Medicines are not usually used to treat borderline personality disorder. If your symptoms are strong, your doctor may give you a short course of medicines.
Talking therapies
Your doctor will talk to you about psychological (talking) therapies.
Dialectical behaviour therapy is the most studied therapy for borderline personality disorder. It can help decrease inappropriate anger, reduce self-harm and improve general functioning. Long-term therapy may be required.
Registered practitioners with appropriate training and experience provide talking therapies for individuals or groups.
You can find these types of professionals on the COPE Directory.
Find local help and support for borderline personality disorder in early parenthood
Other postnatal mental health conditions
Signs and types of postnatal mental health conditions
Types of postnatal mental health conditions, their signs or indicators, plus what to do if you feel you may be experiencing symptoms.
Postnatal mental health risk factors
What increases my risk of developing a postnatal mental health condition?
ADHD in early parenthood
For some people, ADHD symptoms may present challenges during pregnancy and early parenthood, while many parents describe positive aspects of neurodivergence.
Autism and early parenthood
Some autistic expectant parents report feeling empowered, strong and capable during pregnancy. For others, communication challenges and unmet sensory needs can mean they fail to receive proper care during this time.
Bipolar disorder in the postnatal period
Bipolar disorder is a serious mental health condition. Those with a history may have a relapse of bipolar disorder in the postnatal period.
Intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD
Intrusive thoughts, otherwise known as “scary thoughts”, are unwanted negative thoughts and mental images.
Postnatal anxiety
If you have ongoing thoughts and feelings of worry and tension that are hard to live with, then you may be experiencing postnatal anxiety.
Postnatal depression
Postnatal depression is a common but debilitating condition that affects one in seven women following the birth of their baby.
Postpartum psychosis
Postpartum psychosis, also referred to as postnatal psychosis or puerperal psychosis, is a rare condition affecting 1-2 in every 1000 mums.
Post traumatic stress disorder following birth
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following birth can develop if you have personally experienced or witnessed a traumatic birth event.
Schizophrenia in the postnatal period
Signs and symptoms, treatment, management, and additional support for schizophrenia in the postnatal period.
Postnatal factsheets for women and their families
COPE is committed to providing high-quality perinatal mental health information and has developed a series of postnatal mental health fact sheets for women and their families.
