Depression in fathers and partners

How common is depression in fathers?

Depression in fathers is common, affecting up to ten per cent of dads during the perinatal period (pregnancy and the first year of the baby’s life). 

The likelihood of men developing depression, significantly increases if their partner is depressed.

Like depression in birthing mothers, the condition can be serious if not identified or treated. It’s important to be able to recognise the signs so you can seek help early and start feeling better.

Symptoms of postnatal depression

Some of the symptoms of postnatal depression include:

• Feeling sad or down, or sometimes feeling numb and nothing at all
• Loss of interest or pleasure in life, your baby, or activities that you used to enjoy
• Feeling angry, frustrated and/or irritable
• Lacking energy and motivation, feeling tired all the time
• Feeling disconnected from others
• Loss of libido
• Difficulties thinking clearly or concentrating which may be also affected by lack of sleep
• Increased use of drugs and/or alcohol
• Changes in appetite and weight (may increase or decrease).

Dads can display other behaviours which may indicate that they are unwell, such as staying at work for longer hours, engaging in risk-taking behaviours or extramarital affairs.

Untreated depression can also have an impact on others. It may affect your relationship with your partner, your older children if you have them, as well as family and friends - particularly if you've become isolated or withdrawn.

If ongoing and untreated, postnatal depression in fathers can also affect your ability to interact and bond with your child.

I remember grudgingly doing things that my daughter needed. I hated feeding her, dressing her, hearing her cry, everything.  

When to seek help for depression

If you've experienced these symptoms for two weeks or more and are beginning to find it difficult to function from day to day, you may have postnatal depression.

For new fathers and partners this can be very debilitating. You may find it impacts  your ability to support your partner, function at work and/or home, respond to and enjoy your new baby. The baby’s cries or demands may become particularly frustrating to you if you feel as though you're at breaking point. 

It's important to seek help early. There are safe and effective treatments for depression. The faster you seek treatment, the faster you can recover, get back to your old self and enjoy spending time with your baby.

At the height of my depression, I would have shuddered at the thought of spending any extended time with my daughter, but since starting treatment, we’ve had several father/daughter days out.