Symon's story
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child.
My parents tried a few different treatments, but nothing quite stuck. Eventually, the diagnosis faded into the background of my life. I remember once mentioning it to a doctor while I was studying, hoping to revisit treatment. He told me that ADHD didn’t really exist in adults. So, I moved on.
I figured out ways to manage on my own. I moved around constantly while studying. I got used to losing things and learnt to laugh at my misadventures. I rarely felt organised, but I kept up. That was enough - until it wasn’t.
When I had two children under two, everything changed.
The constant demands, the sleep deprivation, the sensory overload - it all collided with my nervous system. Suddenly, my usual ways of managing weren’t working. I couldn’t keep up, couldn’t keep track. I felt disorganised, dysregulated, and overwhelmed. It was as if all the coping strategies I’d used to get by had been stripped away.
That breaking point pushed me to look again at ADHD. I sought out support, and this time, I was re-diagnosed.
I began medication, and for the first time in a long time, things that had always felt impossibly hard - planning, follow-through, staying regulated - became easier. More importantly, I began to truly understand my brain. I learned what I needed to feel regulated and to manage the demands of parenthood.
My personal experience soon began to echo in my work as a perinatal mental health clinician.
I noticed how many of the parents I worked with were navigating similar struggles. They’d often say they felt like they were “failing” at parenthood, when in fact they were overwhelmed, unsupported, and experiencing a nervous system pushed far beyond its capacity.
Some sought assessment and diagnosis. Others simply recognised themselves in what we discussed and found that it gave them a more helpful and compassionate way of understanding themselves.
Together, we worked through strategies; building rhythms that worked with their brains; creating space for nervous system regulation; nurturing self-compassion.
Many had carried a sense of being “not good enough” since childhood. The self-doubt and internal criticism had been shaped over years of feeling different or falling behind, and often became even more amplified in parenthood, where the expectations are relentless and the supports are few.
Symon OliveriI noticed how many of the parents I worked with were navigating similar struggles. They’d often say they felt like they were “failing” at parenthood - when in fact they were overwhelmed, unsupported, and experiencing a nervous system pushed far beyond its capacity.
If you’re a parent who suspects ADHD may be part of your story, here’s what I want you to know:
You are not failing. You are navigating a world that often isn’t built for neurodivergent minds—especially not while raising tiny humans.
Start by getting curious instead of critical of yourself. Gently notice when and where things feel the most difficult. Is it transitions? noise? Planning meals? Getting everyone out the door? These moments hold valuable clues about what kind of support might be helpful.
Once you begin to see the patterns, you can start to experiment with small, practical supports. Visual routines and reminders, strategies to meet your sensory needs, regulating tools like noise-reducing headphones or calming scents, the use of timers, asking for help, or even building in regular 5-minute resets throughout the day—these can all create more ease.
Give yourself permission to seek answers. Whether that means pursuing a diagnosis, reading up on ADHD or simply talking to someone who understands
And finally, self-compassion is essential. You’re doing an extraordinary job carrying so much, even when it feels messy or chaotic. It’s about honouring the way you move through the world and finding what helps you thrive.
