Advice for solo parents

If you are embarking on parenthood on your own, whether by choice or through circumstances, the challenges you face may be unique to your situation.

Choosing to have a baby on your own can be empowering, joyful and exciting - but it can also be overwhelming, stressful and lonely. 

If your pregnancy was unplanned, or you're navigating a relationship breakdown or loss you may also be transitioning to motherhood while managing grief. Give yourself grace, go gently, and call on friends and family for practical help and emotional support.

It's important to remember that while solo parenting can be lonely, you're never alone.  Everyone's experience is different, but here are some things that might be helpful to consider.

1. Take small steps, and focus on one day at a time

Take one day at a time, particularly in the early days and weeks of parenthood when you're adjusting to having little sleep and getting to know your baby. Focus on each moment and what you need on that particular day. Some people find it helpful to set one realistic task to achieve, which can be as simple as showering or having a proper meal.

2. Build your support network

As a solo parent, your postpartum village of support is essential. Learning how to be a parent, without someone navigating it alongside you can be challenging. While you may want to show others (or even yourself) that you can do it alone, be aware of and honest with yourself about your own limits. 

Reach out for support early and accept any and all offers of help. Try to be as specific as you can - for example, asking someone to come and hold the baby while you shower, or for help stocking the freezer.

By getting help from family, friends or childcare, your child will have the opportunity to form meaningful relationships with others and to learn and grow from the world. Just as importantly, you can have time to put yourself first.

3. Find a routine that suits you

Routines can help you to create your own supportive structure. Your routine does not have to be a strict one (as many babies won’t fit into one anyway), but rather a range of activities that you and your baby can do that provides your day with some sense of structure and comfort. 

4. Believe in yourself and go gently 

Try to remember that you don't need to be a perfect parent - you only need to be "good enough." Solo parents are often very resilient and resourceful but it's important to keep checking in with yourself and how you're traveling. Seek help early if you need it.